Although you and your ex-spouse get along for the sake of your children, sometimes you disagree with one another when it comes to matters related to co-parenting duties.
Your kids have seen some of these tiffs unfold, but you’d like to prevent that in the future. As simple as it sounds, sometimes the best way to keep your children out of conflict is to not talk about what your ex should or shouldn’t do in front of them. Creating stronger communication methods can also help reduce conflict overall.
Remember children aren’t messengers
When you raise your children between two homes, different updates on your children’s habits, medications or after school programs will be necessary to share with your ex. But, even if it seems like these kinds of updates won’t create a fight, you shouldn’t leave it up to your children to let your co-parent know what they need to do to care for them properly.
Adults are often forgetful, so there’s a good chance your child might forget to remind the other parent of a message you asked them to relay. For example, if your child forgets to remind your co-parent to help pay for their pricey, new lacrosse gear, then this might cause your ex-spouse to lash out at your child when they should be directing their frustration toward you. Frequent exposure to parental disputes can take an emotional toll on children young and old.
Establish better communication habits
Another way to keep your children out of potential co-parent friction, is by establishing a communication system that works best for you and your ex. Many divorced parents find using co-parenting apps — to organize their child’s short- and long-term schedule, child-related finances and their child’s school and medical documents — to be useful. Knowing exactly where to find updates can naturally release tension.
If your issues need repairing beyond the help of a mobile app, then it’s important to seek help immediately. There are divorce support groups or more intimate mediation options available. Receiving guidance from an experienced family law attorney could also help repair your family dynamics.